What does the word "NO" mean?

This is what the Larch looks like just after the buds have fully come out to soak up the sun's rays.

As you can see, even the cones are feathery and usually run about 1-2 inches long and about an 1 inch wide.

I really don't know what the word "NO" means because if I did...I probably wouldn't be alive today! (Google search my Cycle Tour Across Canada to learn why I shouldn't be alive!) For some reason the word "NO" fuels a fire inside me that can't ever be extinguished. Throught the process of writing these books, I have been told no so many times that I have lost count. I've heard no from publishers, agents, distributers, banks, arts councils, numerous grants, illustrators, and the list goes on. But for some reason the only voice that I listen to..is the voice in my head and in my heart. It feels as though I am being guided and taught valuable life lessons and this voice that lives within  pushes me along, not smoothly, but along.  And I love it because I feel confident that I will succeed by living my life this way.

There are three main passions in my life.

1.) My family

2.) My garden

3.) My books

There are many other things I like to do like mountain biking, skiing, hiking, sewing, general creating, volunteering, and helping bears . But if don't complete my goals taken from my top 3 list, I will not enjoy the extra curricular activites noted above.  I find that so many people I know have exteme sports in their top 3 and I, at one time lived a life like that, but as I am getting older extreme sports don't seem as important. Staying healthy is, but not striving to chuck the hugest drop that can destroy one's family dynamic in less than a second by ending up in a hospital with a broken neck. It just doesn't seem to matter when you look at the big picture of life and what's important.

Every night before I go to bed, I visually run through the different activites that I have planned for the next day. So the following day when I wake up I hit the floor running and can get a lot done. I will usually not go to bed until every activity is completed as best as I can.  I am a very visual person and I think I even have a photographic memory as I can still picture rivers, waves and races that I competed in 15 years ago.  I apply this way of living to each day I live. I have had one too many near fatal accidents over my life time and I have come to realize that life is so precious and needs to be taken advantage of every minit of the day and every minit of the day I use, scheme, think of ways to improve myself and the projects I am working on. Every day I strive to be a better person. There are some days I am too tired and say to hell with it all and waste time  watching tv. But even as I watch tv, in the back of my mind I continue to scheme up more ideas.  Life is so awesome and to be enjoyed every chance you get.

So when I hear a no, I usually get angry, yell, and scream, but then come full circle, I use it to my advantage. "No", builds me up instead of tearing me down. Crazy as it sounds...sometimes I love hearing "No", just so I can say "Oh ya, Watch this!"

So, if you believe in yourself and your project but you can't seem to get a break, overcome it, go around it, and move on!

That's my thoughts for today!